Why, oh why, do people insist on writing bullshit stories about how good they are at getting dates? It would be one thing if it wasn’t a hyperbolic pit of masturbatory bragging, but come on now. You think we believe you did three back flip punchies on a marine while you vaping, Frank? Get real.
I’m glad to see that creative writing isn’t a dying medium, but your “real life” encounter sounds a lot like a Twlight FanFic. Just sayin’.