Neckbeards aren’t new to the internet. They’ve been lurking around every 15-year-old girl’s Facebook page since MySpace went down. The one’s who have a love hate relationship with their mom (SHUT UP, DONNA, I’M MAKING A KATANA DEMO VIDEO FOR YOUTUBE) and drink Mountain Dew more often than water.
They are a special breed of angry nerd that pound away harder on their keyboard than they do their dongos, which trust us, they pound at A LOT.
1. Plot twist: no one has ever invited him to a bar.
2. PAY ATTENTION, M’LADIES:
3. Lecture and chill.
4. Use your sharp brain sword to defeat dumb n00bs.
5. Yes, they’re all avoiding you.
6. The eloquence, the mystery, the bag of Doritos.
7. No spam mail stands a chance against this man.
8. The only time you’ll be grateful for a game over.
9. We’re all hoping so.
10. If he’s a catch, can we throw him back into the ocean?
11. Sonic or DIE!
12. He’s a big stwong man, dammit! Treat him like one and go make him a nice warm bottle of milk.