I’ve seen a lot of weird shit on the internet over the years – at this point, coming across PigPoopBalls or Goatse.cx doesn’t even give me pause. I preface this post with that because I literally just stared at my phone in total confusion for a full minute when I came across this…thing. It’s hard to know exactly how to refer to it – it’s an event, really. A moment frozen in time. A guy taking his girlfriend’s little sister out on a “practice date” so she would know how “a guy should treat her when she gets older.”
I took my girlfriends little sister out on a date so she knows how a guy should treat her when she gets older pic.twitter.com/LwYG1KaTz7
— Charle (@CharlieEgress) February 19, 2017
…Okay, let’s break this down a little:
1. A dude took his girlfriend’s little sister (who looks like she’s 11 or something?) on a date, by themselves – at least, apparently.
If you’ve ever dated a human being, you would know how weird it would be to take your partner’s teenage sibling out on a “date.” Hell, this guy didn’t even put the word ‘date’ in quotations. He just said DATE. Not “hung out,” “out to get something to eat”, or anything in that vein. He used the word DATE. That’s SO WEIRD.
The boyfriend begins with the presumption that he is the ideal specimen of boyfriend – the perfect example of showing how girlfriends DESERVE to be treated. This is not only insanely pompous, but it’s completely self-defeating – any boyfriend worth his salt would know the creepiest and most disqualifying move any partner can make is “taking your girlfriend’s little sister out on a practice date.” Actually, wait, no one would know that because NO ONE HAS EVER THOUGHT THAT WAS AN OKAY, NORMAL THING TO DO.
2. Someone actually proposed this – and it was probably the boyfriend.
The boyfriend thinks so highly of himself that he felt he needed to show how he behaved on dates to the little sister, because otherwise she would likely end up with some creepo because god forbid you assume the little sister has any ability of her own to judge someone’s character. He thought this was a necessity – and told his girlfriend that he wanted to take her little sister on a date. If that isn’t immediate grounds for breakup, I don’t know what is.
Note: there are other possibilities here – that the girlfriend proposed that the boyfriend take her little sister out on a date, or that the little sister proposed it. Both sound entirely nonsensical given he describes himself as the perfect example of boyfriend-ity and that seems to speak to his own self-delusions. But who knows!
3. The boyfriend probably cleared this with the little sister’s parents first.
Imagine having that conversation – telling an 11 year old’s parents that you want to take their little girl out on a practice date in order to demonstrate to her how men should treat women. Imagine actually doing that – and then imagine the look on the parents’ faces when they hear their older daughter’s boyfriend is – for some reason – super invested in being alone with their 11 year old daughter in order to show her how chivalry and romance work. It boggles the mind.
4. If this actually happened as the boyfriend describes it, he was literally pretending to be on a romantic date with a little girl
The point of this “experiment” was to show the little sister how boys should treat girls on dates – meaning HE WAS PRETENDING TO BE HER BOYFRIEND. He was doing “date” things – and who knows exactly what that entails.
5. I’m like 90% sure he took her to Olive Garden
If a boy takes you to Olive Garden on the first date, that means they do NOT know how to treat you.
The lesson here is: Don’t take your girlfriend’s little sister on a date to the Olive Garden to show her how you are the platonic ideal of a boyfriend – and if you do, DEFINITELY don’t brag about it publicly.
For now, the filmmaker behind the award-winning documentary “The Paedophile Hunter” is on the case:
See you soon > @CharlieEgress
— Stinson Hunter (@StinsonHunter) February 21, 2017